If you do good work, it tends to stick around. People still come up to me and say, "'The Ref' is my favorite Christmas movie."

I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?

Is it possible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee anymore in this country? What happened with coffee? Did I miss a meeting? They have every other flavor but coffee-flavored coffee. They have mochaccino, frappaccino, cappuccino, al pacino...Coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup.

I learned a long time ago, if you want to keep your friends in show business, don't get famous. Because as soon as you get famous, a lot of the people you used to know, who didn't, become incredibly bitter and jealous. It's part of the territory.

When I become president, all you assholes that ride bikes in the city? Lock and load! You're going down!

I actually like talking.

I do have to say that I think that President Obama is the greatest President in the history of all of our Presidents, and that he can do no wrong in my book. So how's that for prejudice on the Democratic side?