Happy Easter everyone! Jesus dies, comes back from the dead - and we get chocolate eggs. It's like turn-down service from God.

I didn't raise my kids with the fear of God.

There is a huge boom in autism right now because inattentive mothers and competitive dads want an explanation for why their dumb-ass kids can't compete academically, so they throw money into the happy laps of shrinks . . . to get back diagnoses that help explain away the deficiencies of their junior morons. I don't give a [bleep] what these crackerjack whack jobs tell you - yer kid is NOT autistic. He's just stupid. Or lazy. Or both.

My father left Ireland because he did not want to muck horse manure for the rest of his life, and he wanted to come to New York.

My biggest regret in life is that I didn't hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance.

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

All knowledge is ultimately rooted in metaphorical (or analogical) modes of perception and thought.