Is it possible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee anymore in this country? What happened with coffee? Did I miss a meeting? They have every other flavor but coffee-flavored coffee. They have mochaccino, frappaccino, cappuccino, al pacino...Coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup.

Stand-up comedy and comedy in general is the ultimate form of free speech, because you get to poke holes in all the pretentious bubbles politicians and pundits and popes and pretenders try to float over our heads.

Firefighters are some of the most selfless public servants you will ever encounter.

I'm one of the people that when I wake up I have to do what I do. It's not like I want to do it. I kind of have to do it.

I'm a huge Kevin Youkilis fan.

Coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup. That's all it needs! Maybe a saucer underneath the cup — that's it.

How many whales do we really need? I figure five. One for each ocean.