You know you're getting old when a four-letter word for something pleasurable two people can do in bed together is R-E-A-D.

What is a harp but an oversized cheese slicer with cultural pretensions?

You know you're getting old when a four-letter word for something pleasurable two people can do in bed together is R-E-A-D.

It's like your children talking about holidays, you find they have a quite different memory of it from you. Perhaps everything is not how it is, but how it's remembered.

Middle age is when, whenever you go on holiday, you pack a sweater.

There's an unseen force which lets birds know when you've just washed your car.

It's a funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan it's when you discover that your wife left you in May.