Middle age is when, whenever you go on holiday, you pack a sweater.

Then after that came word processors and it's hard to make those laugh.

I defy anyone to get a decision that quickly these days.

There's an unseen force which lets birds know when you've just washed your car.

If the laughter of the audience was malicious we wouldn't show it.

What is a harp but an oversized cheese slicer with cultural pretensions?

Dictum on television scripts: We don't want it good - we want it Tuesday.