And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it. Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.

Concussion? How the hell can they tell? They're *football* players, for chrissakes!

When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.

I'm actually equal parts cynicism and apathy. I'm always willing to believe the worst as long as it doesn't take too much effort.

What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?

I love this country for several reasons, not the least of which is that I know I'm allowed to hate it if I want to.

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.