So who's the big red menace nowadays? Cuba. That's it? I'm sorry, but it's hard to whip up any us against them nationalist fervor about a country whose principal export is citizens who can swim.

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.

That kid's got an arm like Uncle Fester at an exhibition of Pre-Colombian... um, Christ, I lost it. I was going for something thick. So what's with the beard, Grizzly Fouts?

The American auto industry is blowing up like a 1976 Ford Pinto.

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching.

On Thursday, a passenger forced his way into the cockpit of a United Airlines flight from Miami, but was subdued after the co-pilot hit him with a small ax. Good to see our airlines are being kept secure by the latest in 12th century technology.