Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?

There's no more delicious irony on the face of the Earth than environmental protesters being led away in plastic handcuffs that have a biodegradability horizon line of, like, 40,000 years.

Political Correctness is inverted McCarthyism.

Ouch! And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after watching 'Love Story' at the drive-in.

I'm extremely moved by the loving, caring relationship the President always seems to have with his imaginary son.

Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.

The left promises abortion rights and cradle to the grave protection, so the trick is to make it to the cradle.