Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head.

Ouch! And Marino goes down quicker than his Boonesfarm-infused sister in the back of my '68 Cutlass on our first date after watching 'Love Story' at the drive-in.

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home.

That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.

Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on this planet has gone up 1.8 degrees. Am I the only one who finds that amazingly stable? I could go back to my hotel room tonight and futz with the thermostat for three to four hours. I could not detect that difference.