The very definition of the innate hollowness of leading a political life when you end up on your nearest and dearest moments or most personal evenings with donors. That should - that should tell you all you need to know about the ramble that is politics.

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

I like money. It's fun to fold and stack and smell and look at. It's just plain fun to count money, and I often do it in a loud falsetto while wearing nothing but a captain's hat and a coin changer.

Some people like M&Ms plain, and some people like them with nuts.

The American auto industry is blowing up like a 1976 Ford Pinto.

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.

Half the people I look who are health food addicts look sickly to me. Let's start taxing health food. Somebody force a burger down some of these people's jaw because they look a little pale and wan to me.