Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.

Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.

The ACLU spent this entire holiday season protesting public displays of the nativity scene. Yeah, that's the problem with America right now: Public displays of Christ's birth, that's the problem. It's unbelievable to me. The ACLU will no longer fight for your right to put up a nativity scene, but they'll fight for the right of the local freak who wants to stumble onto the scene and have sex with one of the sheep.

Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this."

I preume there are far too many abortions performed in this country. And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of them are really any of my business.

When you're sharing a mud hole with a wildebeest derriere in sub-Saharan Africa, that's a living hell.

Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention.