There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

Lotto fever hit New York again this week, and like the old saying goes, 'You gotta be in it to win it'... but first, you gotta have a dead end job so pathetic you're willing to kill five hours standing in line for a 1 in 25 million chance.

Michael Moore simultaneously represents everything I detest in a human being and everything I feel obligated to defend in an American. Quite simply, it is that stupid moron's right to be that utterly, completely wrong.

Obama better hope a kicked ass is covered by Obamacare.

On Thursday, a passenger forced his way into the cockpit of a United Airlines flight from Miami, but was subdued after the co-pilot hit him with a small ax. Good to see our airlines are being kept secure by the latest in 12th century technology.

Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.

Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.