The punt returner got smacked like Nancy Kerrigan's knee on souvenir pipe night.

If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going to make crack look like Sanka.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Warner had more hands in his face than an OB-GYN delivering Vishnu's triplets!

Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

When I said 'we', officer, I was referring to myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.