Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied up in Enron stock?

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?

With Browns' ticket prices what they are, you just know that all those dads who brought the entire family to sit in the 'dog pound' are secretly calculating how much blood they're going to have to sell next week to put groceries on the table.

Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.

Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.

Sometimes you just have the thin the herd.