Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied up in Enron stock?

Hey Deion, Bubbelah - maybe you'd better pay a little less attention to those unfairly Draconian salary caps that only allowed you to acquire four of the five remaining 1932 Aston Martins still in road-worthy condition after you'd paid for life's little necessities like hookers and weed, get your medulla oblongata out of your duodenum for a few milliseconds, and make a tackle or two, okay, Babe?

If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of thinning itself out.

Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head.

Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island.

I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something.

The second type you have at these parades seems to be the people who want to mislabel Hitler. Everybody in the world is Hitler. Bush is Hitler, Ashcroft is Hitler, Rumsfeld is Hitler. The only guy who isn't Hitler is the foreign guy with a mustache dropping people who disagree with him into the wood chipper. He's not Hitler.