I am proof that Einstein's "e equals m c squared" is wrong. My mass has increased, but my energy has dropped.

I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something.

I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party.

Check out the helmet hair on Randy Moss, babe! He looks like some freakish anti-Mr. T after a long evening sleeping through 'Aida.'

I like the show [Factor] because it's horny, but it's not skeevy. Where else are you going to get that nowadays?

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.

Ah, Feminism in the nineties, what a What is yours what is mine field.