After September 11th, freedom of speech in America has become a topic that's touchier than a Vatican summer camp.

I think the people can bash Catholics because they know Catholics won't kill them. Quite frankly, there's some religions out there, you bash and they're going to kill you.

Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal.

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

The quarterback's spending so much time behind the center that he may jeopardize his right to lead a Boy Scout troop.

The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God.

I've seen better coverage at an Alan Keyes press conference.