My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I'm thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.

It's nice to be included in the broadcast food chain.

He lasted about as long as the dessert tray at Rosie O'Donnell's house.

How do we know for sure that no two snowflakes are the same - we haven't got anybody watching.

Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?

A lot of people voting for Pat Buchanan say they are doing so to send a message. Apparently that message is, 'Hey, look at me, I'm an idiot.'

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George.