When I went to college, I lived on campus, and the guys I hung out with made the characters in Revenge of the Nerds look like the Rat Pack in 1962. I, myself made that kid Booger look like Remington Steele.

That punt was higher than Marion Berry on a fact-finding tour of Cartagena.

I like the show [Factor] because it's horny, but it's not skeevy. Where else are you going to get that nowadays?

There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on this planet has gone up 1.8 degrees. Am I the only one who finds that amazingly stable? I could go back to my hotel room tonight and futz with the thermostat for three to four hours. I could not detect that difference.

It's a cocktail-party circuit in D.C., That guy who couldn't master the guitar and get in a band and get laid, he ends up there. Gary Condit make sense to me. He's away from his family, he's in D.C. - if he was a car dealer in the [San Fernando] Valley somewhere out there, he'd be the guy who was trying to get laid by offering you the free undercoating package.

The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemies.

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.