Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet!

Seems to me we move the furniture, the French come in later and put the doilies on top of it...It's a simple fact they've always been reluctant to surrender to the wishes of their friends and are almost anticipatory in their urge to surrender to wishes of their enemies. And if they want to get their hands dirty now they're just gonna have to run 'em through their own hair.

Democratic candidate John Kerry on Tuesday chose fellow Senator John Edwards to be his running mate. Asked about Edwards' lack of foreign policy experience, Kerry revealed his new campaign slogan, 'I Promise Not to Die.'

I'm one of the more pessimistic cats on the planet. I make Van Gogh look like a rodeo clown.

I find it shocking that anybody can be brought down in D.C. for gossip, ostensibly. I thought that was the coin of the realm there. That's like getting hit with lightning on a cloudless day.

I rant, therefore I am

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.