If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion

The current tax code is harder to understand than Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel.

The left promises abortion rights and cradle to the grave protection, so the trick is to make it to the cradle.

I used to be sceptic, but not anymore, because now I am positive that I'm getting screwed.

A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.

Other than the bombs they strap to their chests, Ive got no idea what makes the Palestinians tick.