That field goal attempt was so far to the left it nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

When I went to college, I lived on campus, and the guys I hung out with made the characters in Revenge of the Nerds look like the Rat Pack in 1962. I, myself made that kid Booger look like Remington Steele.

They have an amazing proliferation of TV channels now: The all-cartoon channel, the 24-hour-science fiction channel. Of course, to make room for these they got rid of the Literacy Channel and the What's Left of Civilization Channel.

The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemies.

Jack Kerouac was cool because he had no idea he was.

It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark.