Every time someone says, 'You know, we really ought to get together,' if I were really honest, I would ask 'Why?'

I haven't ever found any great writing on that wonderful and often unappreciated art form, the insult.

I like when the ice gets thin, the going gets rough, the guests get edgy.

The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex.

Japanese is sort of a hobby of mine, and I can get around Japan with ease.

Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isn't ailing.

I feel sorry for the poor kids whose parents feel they're qualified to teach them at home. Of course, some parents are smarter than some teachers, but in the main I see home-schooling as misguided foolishness.