I'm not all that enthralled by show business, and I'm not that much of a highbrow.

The greatest benefit of depression is the fact that when I have talked about it, every so often someone comes up and says, you saved my dad's life.

There should be three days a week when no one is allowed to say: 'What's your sign?' Violators would have their copies of Kahlil Gibran confiscated.

By the time I was in the fourth grade, I sounded exactly like my father on the phone.

Every time I nostalgically try to regain my liking of John McCain, he reaches into his sleaze bag and pulls out something malodorous.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.