I'm not all that enthralled by show business, and I'm not that much of a highbrow.

Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.

Chris Matthews can't start any sentence without 'Let me ask you this... ' And I love Chris Matthews! But almost everybody in journalism does it. Who's stopping you? Just say it!

I don't think anyone ever gets over the surprise of how differently one audience's reaction is from another.

Great humorists are great insulters.

There should be three days a week when no one is allowed to say: 'What's your sign?' Violators would have their copies of Kahlil Gibran confiscated.

Depression - it falls into that small category of things like combat that, if you haven't been in it, you can say you can imagine it all you like. But it's truly different.