Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.

All three of my parents - I also had a stepmother - were teachers, and my dad taught high school, and as he always reminded me when I was going to spend some money on something, 'Your mother and I, in the Depression, had to decide whether to spend a dime on a loaf of bread or if we could go to a movie with it.'

When I'm doing an appearance somewhere and taking questions from the audience, I can always count on: 'Tell about the guy who died on your show!'

The Nixon administration kept a nasty eye on our show... Cops would come by - often just in time to see the act they wanted to see.

Every comic can report a few 'gift from the gods' moments.

Radio, which was a much better medium than television will ever be, was easy and pleasant to listen to. Your mind filled automatically with images.

Anything seen on TV is, in a subtle and sinister sense, thereby endorsed.