It's a tribute to the human brain that anyone is able to function out there on television in a talk situation that is entirely artificial.

It's no fun being a specimen.

Great humorists are great insulters.

Why anyone, by dying, should thereby be declared beyond criticism, innocent of wrongdoing, suddenly filled with virtue and above reproach escapes me.

The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex.

There should be three days a week when no one is allowed to say: 'What's your sign?' Violators would have their copies of Kahlil Gibran confiscated.

I haven't ever found any great writing on that wonderful and often unappreciated art form, the insult.