Every student of comedy should see Dame Edna at least twice.

Greatly talented performers don't know - often spectacularly - what's best for them, don't know what their talents really are, and don't know what's just plain wrong for them.

Commercials are not the only exposure that obesity gets on TV. It is by no means a rarity on the wonderful Judge Judy's show when both plaintiff and accused all but literally fill the screen.

There should be three days a week when no one is allowed to say: 'What's your sign?' Violators would have their copies of Kahlil Gibran confiscated.

Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isn't ailing.

Just think of all the billions of coincidences that don't happen.

I like when the ice gets thin, the going gets rough, the guests get edgy.