I think I'd be pretty easy to write for.

Every comic can report a few 'gift from the gods' moments.

I don't think anyone ever gets over the surprise of how differently one audience's reaction is from another.

If I were running a campaign, I'd urge taking the mountain of money reportedly squandered on pizza, coffee and bagels and spending it more wisely - on a talented young comedy writer.

There should be three days a week when no one is allowed to say: 'What's your sign?' Violators would have their copies of Kahlil Gibran confiscated.

An effective speaker can do more damage or more good in a well-stated minute than an angry klutz could do in half an hour.

By the time I was in the fourth grade, I sounded exactly like my father on the phone.