If I were running a campaign, I'd urge taking the mountain of money reportedly squandered on pizza, coffee and bagels and spending it more wisely - on a talented young comedy writer.

I always wanted to live in a haunted house.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

It's no fun being a specimen.

By the time I was in the fourth grade, I sounded exactly like my father on the phone.

All three of my parents - I also had a stepmother - were teachers, and my dad taught high school, and as he always reminded me when I was going to spend some money on something, 'Your mother and I, in the Depression, had to decide whether to spend a dime on a loaf of bread or if we could go to a movie with it.'

The Nixon administration kept a nasty eye on our show... Cops would come by - often just in time to see the act they wanted to see.