I had to fight the intellectual label when I started in television, because, first of all, it's not going to help you commercially, and also, it wasn't particularly true of me. I mean, if anybody thought I was an intellectual, they probably had never really seen one.

Greatly talented performers don't know - often spectacularly - what's best for them, don't know what their talents really are, and don't know what's just plain wrong for them.

I have yet to see one of those Comedy Central shows with multiple standup comics that doesn't include someone the size of the Hindenburg.

Music bypasses the brain and goes straight to the heart. I wish my life had more of it.

I get a kick out of people saying I was funny.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Home schooling as an idea is on a par with home dentistry.