I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

An effective speaker can do more damage or more good in a well-stated minute than an angry klutz could do in half an hour.

I hate Danny Kaye movies.

The brain process that results in a joke materializing where no joke was before remains a mystery. I'm not aware of any scholarly, scientific or neurological studies on the subject.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.

Can you picture yourself at the age 60 doing what you do now?