It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I guess the best advice I ever got or anyone could get for doing a talk show, though it has not been easy very often, was from Jack Paar, who said, 'Kid, don't make it an interview. Interviews have clipboards, and you're like David Frost. Make it a conversation.'

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

My dream was maybe someday, one night I can be a guest on a talk show, and then I will have achieved everything I want.

I'm not freakishly short. I had, on my show, used shortness as a joke subject; it didn't really bother me.

I'm not the guy with the enormous comedy nose or the big feet or the bad posture or the whatever; a physical comic has certain things.

An effective speaker can do more damage or more good in a well-stated minute than an angry klutz could do in half an hour.