America has the mightiest military on the planet, and they didn't get there with entertainers.

Civil Rights: What black folks are given in the U.S. on the installment plan, as in civil-rights bills. Not to be confused with human rights, which are the dignity, stature, humanity, respect, and freedom belonging to all people by right of their birth.

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.

When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete's feet don't exist, there's something wrong.

Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: 'We don't serve colored people here.' "I said: 'that's all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.

Fear and God do not occupy the same space.

I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.