Wouldn't it be a helluva joke if all this were really burnt cork and you people were being tolerant for nuthin'?

You got to die of something because if you die of nothing, they won't pay your insurance.

If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the tanks to control you.

I tell people, 'If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.

Eating liver out of a cow's body is like eating the filter out of a car.

If you take 12 waters from the coconut - not the ones you buy in the store, although that's good - but the fresh coconuts, the little brown ones with the three eyes, if you take 12 of those within 24 hours, your blood will go back to the way it was when you were born.

You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.