Wouldn't it be a helluva joke if all this were really burnt cork and you people were being tolerant for nuthin'?

Once I realised the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.

Love is man's natural endowment, but he doesn't know how to use it. He refuses to recognize the power of love because of his love of power.

America has the mightiest military on the planet, and they didn't get there with entertainers.

You know, I always say white is not a colour, white is an attitude, and if you haven't got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don't need, you can't be white.

Because you make me laugh don't make you a comic. A comedian is a person who, that's how they make their living.

Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.