My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn't a Christian, she would stomp you to death.

I consider myself always a humorist. And I think anybody who tells jokes or makes people laugh is humor.

The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.

Black folks tell their kids they have to be twice as good as a white person? Well, if I tell a child of mine that, or that they have to be careful - that this is what a cop would do if you do this - they think something is wrong with them. I tell them death is better.

[A politician is] a person skilled in the art of compromise. Usually an elected official who has compromised to get nominated, compromised to get elected, and compromised repeatedly to stay in office.

Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.

The free man is the man with no fears.