When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's not enough, but it helps.

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.

The only thing I like about St. Louis is it has the best zoo in America, in Forest Park. Washington University is next door to the zoo. Animals get out, they're going to eat white people before they get to the ghetto!

When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's not enough, but it helps.

Nature is not affected by finance. If someone offered you ten thousand dollars to let them touch your eyeball without blinking, you would never collect the money. At the very last moment, Nature would force you to blink your eye. Nature will protect her own.

Because you make me laugh don't make you a comic. A comedian is a person who, that's how they make their living.

Truth is the baby of the world. It never gets old.