Now here's what I'm saying: I've always believed that every other month we hear about compromisation of bank records, I think that's the CIA and the FBI. Now let me tell you why I'm saying this. I don't believe no insignificant pip-squeak is going to be able to pull this off month after month and we can't find out what's going on.

You got to die of something because if you die of nothing, they won't pay your insurance.

I am one of the funniest people on the planet.

America is 5 percent of the world's population and consumes 96 percent of the world's hard drugs.

There is a limit on how much information you can keep bottled up.

It's cool to be healthy.

Don't have a high school diploma? You're in my Cabinet. Why? For 200 years, a lot of Cabinets have existed in our government. Powerful men. Well-educated. So let's try something totally new.