I didn't realize, when I decided to be a comic, that a black person had never been allowed to stand flat-footed in America and talk to white folks. It never happened before.

Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.

When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's not enough, but it helps.

In the South they don't mind how close I get, so long as I don't get too big. In the North they don't mind how big I get, so long as I don't get too close.

Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.

White folks are the luckiest people: Finally a black president and he's a behaved one. Went to the best schools, best colleges, never raises his voice. I ran for president in 1968. I tell (audiences) if I won, I would have dug up the Rose Garden and planted watermelon!

Because you make me laugh don't make you a comic. A comedian is a person who, that's how they make their living.