In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don't know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.

No kid in the world, no woman in the world should ever raise a hand against a no-good daddy. That's already been taken care of: A Man Who Destroys His Own Home Shall Inherit the Wind.

Eating liver out of a cow's body is like eating the filter out of a car.

Every holiday on the calendar, I check in a hotel and fast - I don't eat, I don't drink, I don't talk.

Because you make me laugh don't make you a comic. A comedian is a person who, that's how they make their living.

I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.

Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.