Intellectuals should never marry; they won't enjoy it; and besides, they should not reproduce themselves.

Be kind and considerate to others, depending somewhat upon who they are.

A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.

Golf is not sacred, and there is no use getting so gosh-darned solemn about it.

If I had my life to live over, I would try to make more mistakes. I would relax. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I know of very few things that I would take seriously. I would be less hygienic. I would go more places. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less spinach. I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary troubles.

I wish I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours. If all you can see is your shadow, you're blocking your own light. If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.

Conversation: The slowest form of human communication.