Between the years of ninety-two and a hundred and two, however, we shall be the ribald, useless, drunken, outcast person we have always wished to be. We shall have a long white beard and long white hair; we shall not walk at all, but recline in a wheel chair and bellow for alcoholic beverages; in the winter we shall sit before the fire with our feet in a bucket of hot water, a decanter of corn whiskey near at hand, and write ribald songs against organized society... We look forward to a disreputable, vigorous, unhonoured, and disorderly old age.

Many a man spanks his children for things his own father should have spanked out of him.

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.

Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

One of the most important things to remember about infant care is: don't change diapers in midstream.

Life's too damn funny for me to explain.

A fierce unrest seethes at the core, of all existing things:, it was the eager wish to soar, that gave the gods their wings.