Between the years of ninety-two and a hundred and two, however, we shall be the ribald, useless, drunken, outcast person we have always wished to be. We shall have a long white beard and long white hair; we shall not walk at all, but recline in a wheel chair and bellow for alcoholic beverages; in the winter we shall sit before the fire with our feet in a bucket of hot water, a decanter of corn whiskey near at hand, and write ribald songs against organized society... We look forward to a disreputable, vigorous, unhonoured, and disorderly old age.

A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself.

the high cost of living isnt so bad if you dont have to pay for it

Life is one damned kitten after another." Mehitabel the Alley Cat

In all systems of theology the devil figures as a male person. Yes, it is women who keep the church going.

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'

There was once a Hindu sage, who sat down on the banks of the Ganges and thought for seventy years about the millennium. Just as he arrived at the solution and was putting it into verse, a mosquito stung him and he forgot it again at once.