A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
Old godheads sink in space and drown Their arks like foundered galleons sucked down.
The female of all species are most dangerous when they appear to retreat.
By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth knowing.
The most pleasant and useful persons are those who leave some of the problems of the universe for God to worry about.
If a child shows himself incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate his kind.