If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny.

I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.

Regis Philbin is very successful in his own right. We have a new thing where he have chairs and we sit and talk to each other about my career and his career. It works pretty well if I do say so.

I was with George Washington at Valley Forge, sitting around before an attack... gimme a break. That's over 70 years ago already.

Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood.

I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.

I was always the guy - out of insecurities, I was always making fun, even as a kid.