If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny.

Regis Philbin is very successful in his own right. We have a new thing where he have chairs and we sit and talk to each other about my career and his career. It works pretty well if I do say so.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.

It's tough having the last name Rickles. Luckily, my kids handled it great.

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude.

Well, I call myself an actor. I always wanted to be one.