I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew even­tually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys.

I've never been able to tell jokes. In the beginning of my career I did impressions and jokes like any other comedian, but I was never very successful because I did it poorly. So I started to talk to the audience and started talking about the atmosphere around me and started to become angry, not in a mean-spirited way, but in a fun way - and my attitude developed from there.

Some people call me a legend and the last of the greats, and I appreciate it.

It's just to break things up between stand-up gigs. I would only do it periodically. Maybe just an East Coast thing.

I've never had a writer, and I'm proud of that. Everything I've per­formed has been from my own head.

I do situations and make fun of authority and life.

I'm not a big one for jokes. I can't tell a joke, believe it or not. If you gave me a thousand bucks and said, "Don, get up at a party and tell a joke," I'm the worst.