The thing I love about Vegas is that it's a melting pot. It's like working Ellis Island.

Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.

I was with George Washington at Valley Forge, sitting around before an attack... gimme a break. That's over 70 years ago already.

I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.

I don't care if the average guy on the street really knows what I'm like, as long as he knows I'm not really a mean, vicious guy. My friends and family know what I'm really like. That's what's important.

I'd like to think my performance is today. I never try to - it's so, as you know, watching me, I have a beginning, middle and ending. But every night the show changes and I relate to an audience and I relate to the young people.

Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black.