When you talk about George Burns you're talking about a living legend . . . well, a legend, anyhow.

Once in a while, when I'm alone, I think about my age. I think, How many more years do I have on this earth? But I can't really conceive of dying. Somehow, in my head, I don't think I'll die. I know that everybody dies, of course. I just think that it'll never come to me. It's crazy, but there it is.

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.

I take pride in being very unique in what I do. Nobody else can do what I do and I don't mean to say that egotistically, it's just something in my personality.

Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood.

I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.

I've never been able to tell jokes. In the beginning of my career I did impressions and jokes like any other comedian, but I was never very successful because I did it poorly. So I started to talk to the audience and started talking about the atmosphere around me and started to become angry, not in a mean-spirited way, but in a fun way - and my attitude developed from there.