The man I adored, and miss him terribly, was Johnny Carson.

Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor.

I was with George Washington at Valley Forge, sitting around before an attack... gimme a break. That's over 70 years ago already.

Frank Sinatra enjoyed my humor, so I could say almost anything to him. I mean, within reason.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

That I walk around calling people 'dummy' and 'hockey puck'. I do have a different life apart from being sarcastic on stage. I might kibitz around with my friends, but I'm nothing like the person who does stand up. Nothing like that.

Hell, do I remember the first joke? I was never a jokester.