Hell, do I remember the first joke? I was never a jokester.

When I first went to Vegas, there were just high-rollers and gamblers and the wise guys treated you great.

Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor.

I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

When I'm onstage, I'm acting.

I've never been mean-spirited, in my opinion. I never did anything below the belt.

Room service is great if you want to pay $500 for a club sandwich.