You've got to be able to sell yourself.

I always enjoy being full of fun, but I have my serious moments. Some women go for the studious kind of guy, I certainly was not that. If a girl is looking for somebody different and maybe a little more exciting for themselves - someone more on the fun side, I would suggest that they look for a type like Don Rickles.

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

The man I adored, and miss him terribly, was Johnny Carson.

Frank Sinatra enjoyed my humor, so I could say almost anything to him. I mean, within reason.

I was always the guy - out of insecurities, I was always making fun, even as a kid.

I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.