I have a problem, if the light goes on on TV and it blinks midnight, I don't know how to fix it.

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

Whatever you do to gain success, you have to hang in there and hope good things happen. Always think positive.

Frank Sinatra enjoyed my humor, so I could say almost anything to him. I mean, within reason.

Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black.

I don't really tell a joke per se, I build up an attitude and it becomes a joke.

Once in a while, when I'm alone, I think about my age. I think, How many more years do I have on this earth? But I can't really conceive of dying. Somehow, in my head, I don't think I'll die. I know that everybody dies, of course. I just think that it'll never come to me. It's crazy, but there it is.