Showbiz is great if you're successful.

I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is.

I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.

I have a problem, if the light goes on on TV and it blinks midnight, I don't know how to fix it.

I've never gambled a dime. Never, in all my years in Vegas.

My father when walked into a room, you could tell that everybody loved him. They really did. He was quite a man. My mother was more into the show biz atmosphere than he was.

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.